Here are some of the many great reasons to go to the rodeo:

1. Perhaps you really love cows.
2. Perhaps you really hate cows.

As I am fairly indifferent towards cows, I rarely partake. I guess I thought it would be a great place to watch the rapture, because cows and religion go hand in hand as personal interests, but when that didn’t pan out I had to find something else to do.

My first instinct was to find me some drunk country bitches and invite them to the Longhorn Saloon for drinks and daterape, but taking a quick inventory of nearby prospects just made me feel old and creepy. I would have been okay with that, too, but there were real adults nearby and we can’t have people figuring out how old and creepy I am.

So, as should be expected, I spent most of my time trundling along the midway eating wiggle chips. I tried to avoid games which would require that I talk to the carnies a lot, after a bad experience with the breath of the guy at the darts booth. I made like I was hard of hearing and defensively turned my ear to him, but I was only able to mitigate so much of the damage.

An updated list of reasons to visit the rodeo:

1. Wiggle Chips